The title is from a book I'm reading.
I don't recommend it - like, it's good, but, the ending was kinda... a harsh reality.
Not good for those of you dealing with a harsh reality right now.

IT IS AMAZING HOW
SOMEONE YOU DEFENDED IN THE PAST...
CAN TURN INTO A TOTAL BITCHFACE YOU DON'T WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH.
OUR FRIENDSHIP IS NOT WORTH THE WAY YOU'RE TREATING ME IF YOU'RE READING THIS - YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO YOU ARE
IT MAKES YOU WONDER HOW MANY IRL FRIENDS YOU HAVE
IF THIS IS HOW YOU GO AROUND TREATING PEOPLE
KTHNXBAI

AND IT IS ALSO AMAZING HOW
SOMEONE WHO HAS KNOWN YOU FOR AGES AND KNOWS YOU CAN HOLD GRUDGES
THINKS IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO ARGUE WITH YOU
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE THREE CLASSES WITH THIS PERSON AND THEY'RE CLASSES YOU'D DO BETTER IN WITHOUT INTERACTION ANYWAYS
SO IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER
OH, AND, I HOPE YOU AREN'T EXPECTING ME TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG
[:


Uhm.
On the plus side.
...
...
Uhm.
Well.
Brad and I wave at each other at lunch every day. Or, almost every day. >> I guess that's good. Interaction, you know?

Career Aptitude testing in two days.
[:
I am excited because I care about that kinda shit.

Juggling is NOT practical but we're learning it in Aerobics and it's kinda - dare I say it - FUN. It's not easy, but, it's fun to do something that takes concentration and actual will rather than just running stairs or swinging a racket around in some mindless wussy sport.

French is NOT as fun as I thought it was going to be this year.
Our new teacher is kinda an over obsessive HOBAG sometimes, but then again, sometimes you can't help but like her. Eh, whatever. I'm probably flunking the class by now anyways so I guess French 3 and French 4 aren't all that important right now.

I wish I got to see some of my friends more and some of them less at school. :/ School scheduling isn't fair sometimes.

And since Rikku is Rikku and Yuna is Yuna, Ari is Yuffie.
Suck on that.
;o
I have a cool FF girl counterpart too.
AND MINE IS ASIAN.
<3

I need to get that other journal off my front page.
Lol.

So. I'm not on deviantart much anymore.
At least not on this account.
Butwhatever.

Uhmmm.
The friend I was standing up for in my last journal is like, mad at me.
And I don't even know what I did.
x_X
What I apparently did do was the gayest thing ever.
Because spontaneously doing something without telling her means it's a secret and telling her about it is apparently bragging.

School usually has me wanting to shoot myself in the face by 6th hour.

I hate Winter, and I'm going to die of cold or windburn or something.
Fucking midwest.

Homecomnig was boring and wayyy too much drama, although there was rarely any. And Brad didn't show up even though he was supposed to.

I'm become reobsessed with Naruto because fanart and shit keeps me busy and I really don't need freetime to dwell on things right now.

I really hate it when my friends think they can bitch at me and get away with it. Because no matter how much I like you, I am not going to take you shit talking me or one of my other friends.

My family is fucking pooooooooooooooor omg.
It's pissing me off.
At this rate, all I'll get for Christmas is like... socks.
My dad has been unemployed forrr... it'll be a year this Christmas.

I spontaneously burst into tears for no reason sometimes these days. ._x Something tells me that's not exactly normal.

My sister needs to fuck off and die because all she does online is look up Batman shit on youtube.
I am THIS close to running her over with a car myself.

I turned sixteen.
And have yet to do all this stuff my friends have done like... a year or more ago.

That's about all I have to whine about right now.
kthnxbai.

IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD.

I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE.
I FUCKING HATE LIFE.
I FUCKING HATE JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE A FRIEND BASICALLY TELLING ME SHE WANTS TO COMMIT SUICIDE.
OVER THREE MORONS WHO DUMPED HER ASS AND THEN SUDDENLY REALISED THE NEXT DAY 'HUH, THAT WAS WRONG. OOPS. WE'LL TAKE YOU BACK.'

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER.
AND IT'S NOT FAIR.
BECAUSE ME AND MY FRIEND TALKD TO THE MORONS AND MADE THEM SEE SENSE.
AND MY FRIEND TOLD OUR SUICIDAL FRIEND WHAT SHE DID.
AND SHE GOT PISSED AT HER.
AND THEN TOLD ME THAT I WAS LIKE, HER ONLY TRUE FRIEND.
WHICH MADE ME BURST INTO FUCKING TEARS BECAUSE I HELPED BUT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

sonofabitchmotherfuckercocksuckerjesusch ristgoddamn.

Does anyone know God's number?
Because this really isn't fucking funny and he should probably get the memo.

Stolen from Amandaaa;

PAIRING META MEME

Your mission is this: you give me a pairing (or multiple pairings, if you are feeling particularly generous). I, in meme-like fashion, will respond to you using at least 100 words. In all likelihood, it will be more than 100 words. It can be something I've rambled about before, it can be something you're honestly curious about my feelings on, or it can be something you know I LOATHE LIKE NOTHING ELSE.

My List:

(Use any of the fandom’s/stuff I mention in the list. : D It is in no particular order. Oh, and some of the things I have listed are things I don’t watch anymore but I know enough about, ha. I have BOLDED the ones I like the most, though.)

Naruto, Teen Titans, Vampire Knight, Twilight, Maximum Ride, Pokemon Special Manga, Pokemon: Battle Frontier, Death Note, Final Fantasy 7, X or X-2, Star Wars, Kingdom Hearts, Harry Potter - that's about it. xDD







*Tagged by KOGYLUFFIEKINZZOMG!!


Kissed any one of your dA friends? --- nope.
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- nope.
Slept in until 5 PM? --- yes.
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- ...|: effing god, yes.
Held a snake? --- YES. [[ i'm assuming they mean the animal... ]]
Ran a red light? --- nope.
Been suspended from school? --- nope. [[ surprisingly, i'm a good kid at school. ]]
Experienced love at first sight? --- possibly~
Totaled your car in an accident? --- nope.
Been fired from a job? --- nope.
Fired somebody? --- nope.
Sang karaoke? --- mmhmm. evanescence & rihanna.
Pointed a gun at someone? --- watergun. :'D
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- yup.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? --- no, actually. i choke, but, it never comes back up out the nose. b:
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- yeah - god, i hate winter.
Kissed in the rain? --- nope.
Had a close brush with death --- well, i almost got hit by the icecream truck last night. |: my big toe was on the road when he came down the street at like SUPERSPEED omg.
Seen someone die? --- no.
Played spin-the-bottle? --- nope.
Sang in the shower? --- yuppers.
Smoked a cigar? --- no.
Sat on a rooftop? --- yes - the top of a doghouse, anyway.
Smuggled something into another country? --- nope.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on --- I jumped in voluntarily. b:
Skipped school? --- nope.
Eaten a bug? --- nope.
Sleepwalked? --- YES~
Walked a moonlit beach? --- nope.
Rode a motorcycle? --- nope.
Dumped someone? --- YES.
Forgotten your anniversary? --- nope.
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- nope.
Ridden on a helicopter? --- no.
Shaved your head? --- ew no.
Played a prank on someone? --- mmhmm~
Hit a home run? -- nope.
Felt like killing someone? --- yup.
Cross-dressed? --- nope.
Been falling-down drunk? --- nope.
Eaten snake? --- nope.
Marched/Protested? --- yuuup.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- no, wtfh.
Puked on amusement ride? --- yes. :/
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- yes.
Been in a band? --- nope.
Knitted? --- yes.
Been on TV? --- nope.
Shot a gun? --- a watergun.
Skinny-dipped? --- nope.
Gave someone stitches? --- |: my friends don't trust me with paper, what makes you think they'd trust me with stitches?
Eaten a whole habanera pepper? --- nope.
Ridden a surfboard? --- nope.
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- ew, no.
Had surgery? --- nope.
Streaked? --- nope.
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- nope.
Tripped on mushrooms? --- nope.
Passed out when not drinking? --- nope.
Peed on a bush? --- ...never again.
Donated Blood? --- scared of needles, plz.
Grabbed an electric fence? --- nope.
Eaten alligator meat? --- never, and i never will. :/
Eaten cheesecake? --- <33 yes.
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- nope.
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- yeah, once. it was a copperhead snake and everyone else was being such an effing baby about it. :c
Peed your pants in public? --- nope.
Snuck into a movie without paying? --- nope.
Written graffiti? --- nope.
Still love someone you shouldn't? --- nope~
Think about the future? --- yup~
Been in handcuffs? --- mmhmm. totally~ those cheapo ones in the wal*mart toy section, of course~
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- i have a twin sized, so, no. xD


if you read this and haven't done it yet, you're tagged. b:

Stolen from Amanda~

[09 things about yourself]

1. I'm very prone to getting colds and bruises. No matter what, when I change for bed, I'll notice a bruise, or when I wake up, I'll notice I have nasal congestion. It's stupid. D:
2. I will not swim in the ocean for more than five minutes unless convinced otherwise. I'm afraid of getting hurt, plus the ocean is just so... mysterious that it's scary.
3. I love roleplaying bitchy characters. Hence, Karin from Naruto being my current favorite.
4. I've been throwing darts a poster of Miley Cyrus for around a month now, and I plan to send it to her asking for her autorgraph. (:
5. I'm a history nerd. History is, in fact, my favorite class. c:
And I THRIVE off of Ancient Egypt, kthnx.
6. I like cheesy romantic comedies. So sue me.
7. I wish I was a scene kid. Cause they're pretty. ;3;
8. I wear glasses and I love them. As a matter of fact, I look weird without them. .-.
9. I am SO crushing on this guy in my math class. <3
I'm afraid to tell one of my offline biffles, though, because she has study hall with him and she might accidentally let something slip. .-.

[08 ways to win your heart]

01; RANDOMNOSITY; you have to be willing to handle random and be random. I'm not saying be a spazzmonkey, but, be able to take conversation change and conversations that might make normal people blush cause it's so scandalous. Pssh~
02; FRIEND; be my friend, plz. I'd like to thoroughly know a person before I date them or anything, so I don't end up with any regrets. Also, along with this, be kind to my other friends. My friends mean the WORLD to me, even if I treat them bad sometimes.
03; FUNNY; I like jokes. ANY kind of jokes, even if they seem racist. Because that's all they are - jokes. They don't mean anything bad, and they're just to provide laughter. c: I like laughing~
04; CREATIVITY; I love drawing, writing, learning new words, and challenging myself - hence why I'm taking French. So, creativity is definately a bonus. I'm not saying you have to know a second language, just be creative in any way~
05; ANIME; I'm a manga/anime nerd. So, if you like Naruto, and nothing else anime/manga wise, that's good enough for me. Even if you don't like it, that's fine. We just won't talk about it. |D
06; FAMILY; my family is crazy. My dad threatens to shoot guys if I mention their names and my mom is just a crazy, shameless bitch. I'm sorry, but, you'll have to accept that. uu If I could change them, I would.
07; MAGICIANRY; I dig magicians, who needs musicians. ;D
08; WHINE; I whine and bitch and moan about things for long periods of time. I'll eventually get over it, but, it'd be nice if you could just deal with my whining for the time I'm doing it.

[07 things that cross your mind a lot]

01; McCain't. Obama plz.
02; Why do I not have a boyfriend? D:
03; I need to re-dye my hair. ._.
04; I should really work on that picture I told myself I'd draw....
05; Why does the schoolyear go by so slowly? Dx
06; I really wish I could listen to my iPod because class is boring today. .3.
07; I'm hungry....

[06 things you do before you fall asleep]

01; Survive school.
02; Listen to music.
03; Find something SuiKa related.
04; Check my e-mail.
05; Check on my degu's.
06; Read manga.

[05 people who mean a lot:]

01; Yuna
02; Rikku
03; Kogyluffiekins
o4; Nellie
05; Dani

[04 things you're wearing right now:]

01; A black & gray striped Cheshire Cat [Alice in Wonderland] t-shirt. It's all vintage looking.
02; Denim short shorts.
03; A white Aeropostale hoodie.
04; My glasses. b:

[03 songs that you listen to often:]

01; Get Tangled Up In Me - Skye Sweetnam
02; Just Dance - Lady Gaga
03; She Wolf - Shakira

[02 things you want to do before you die:]

01; Find love, but never have kids. xx
02; Dominate the world. |:

[01 confession:]

01; I'm scared of so many things.
But, I also get real attached to people.
So, one of my biggest fears, is that the people I'm attached to will just go away and leave me all alone.
b: